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I have tech problems.


I have tech problems.

As I type this, one of my phones is in a bowl of rice. No, I am not trying out a tech-related recipe for Kitchen Butterfly, the said phone took a swim in the washing machine with my laundry and rice is a desiccant…so I am using the rice which will eventually end up as jollof in my belly to suck out the soapy moisture.

But that’s not even the half of it.

I am used to being the guy people run to when they have tech issues, now the tables have turned.

My secondary Macbook won’t come on. It charges but won’t come on. I suspect its the power button that is stuck (happens when dust settles in the crack around it over time) or the bit that connects the power button to the keyboard has a cut (meaning, I might need to empty my wallet for a new keyboard…sigh) but I haven’t had time to get it sorted…yet. I need to though, it’s the only computer that has Windows running (my Dell is still there, but it’s so slow now, that I don’t refer to it as a computer any more) and I will need to be working in the Windows environment for the next few weeks.

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Then my Samsung Galaxy S4 now has a mind of its own and won’t charge till it feels like…seriously. Plugging it to the charger these days might or might not elicit a response of any sort. On a good day, it might tell you that it is connected to a dock and charge for a few minutes, other times it will just keep cycling between dock mode, regular charging and nothing in a closed loop. The usual suspect of such behaviour is dust in the charging dock, but I have cleaned it as well as I can given the tools at my disposal while on the road – a toothpick and the compressed air in my lungs – but that hasn’t worked so far. The other possible culprit is a short-circuit somewhere in the port. If that’s the case, my device will be needing a new microUSB port.

Speaking of charging ports, the one on my Playbook (yes, I still have one, don’t judge me) is also bad. I’m not exactly a tablet user, in fact, like I have mentioned before, I think tablets are third wheels at best. But with the current power situation having an extra 8-10hrs of battery life (in the form of a tab) for the web and movies is a necessity. So I need to fix that.

Cracked BlackBerry Z30 screenThen finally, my BlackBerry Z30, which is the phone I use for voice calls got introduced to tarred road, when I got out of the car without first taking it off my lap (don’t worry, I wasn’t driving). In the excitement of getting acquainted with its new friend, it lunged face first. Long story short, its got a web of cracks on the display. Besides the fact that cracked screens irritate me – even the tiniest hairline one, BlackBerry 10 is heavily reliant on gestures, so I run the risk of slicing my hand every single time I use the device.

Like I mentioned before, I am used to being the go-to-guy, and not the other way. So who do I go to now?

...half genius, half unserious.

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